About becoming someone else
Soon I will be splitting my life into two lives, two people living in the same body.
How do yuppies tell about their hippie past? Do hipsters have some memories of their no-cool, trendy days? Do they miss it?
In some months I will refer to the person I am today as someone who doesn’t exist anymore. I will say: I used to be … I used to say…I used to think…
But my sentences will have no nostalgia. Different from today, I will have no time and no patience for mourning.
I’m re-orienting, or perhaps I’m using a compass for the first time, unveiling my inner North.
I know: yuppies regret their hippie days, hipsters are ashamed of their no-trendy past. It’s difficult to accomodating two different truths.
I will think of my past self as someone who was dazzled by her own feelings.
If I want to seal the transition, I will have to lose some respect for the person I am today. Otherwise, the change is not complete.
The path I’m going to take is similar to this very first change, the free fall of writing in a foreign language. This foreign language will become my mother tongue — as I am a soon to be foreigner to myself.
